But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
