everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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