Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
