dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
