I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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