so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
