You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
