There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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