I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
