Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
not ubering you a puppy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
