Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
