My liver just broke up with me...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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