we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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