there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
