tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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