so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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