He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
