youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
