lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
