I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
