TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
