just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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