do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
