I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize