ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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