After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
