U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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