i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
