So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
