If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
