Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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