i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
