i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
