I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
