oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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