What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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