i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
