can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
