Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
