College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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