I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
