Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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