Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
