if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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