everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
