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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize