i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
