omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
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SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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