No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
