hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
