After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
