I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
