what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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