if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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