She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
