Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
