Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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