I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
