We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
