fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize