dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
