I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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